I HATE being patient, but I’ve got more of it than anyone else I know


I HATE having to put my self aside for something else,

but I care enough to do it

I find myself filled with a lot of that lately... this… Hate…

It sounds so weird to say it out loud… Hate…. It doesn’t have a nice feeling.

I HATE

It’s just not me.

It’s not how I want to be.

It doesn’t sound right coming out of my mouth.

It doesn’t sound right swirling through my head

why is it that I find myself constantly forcing that word out of my head.

I hate that…

there it is again,

lately It creeps up on me.

I know what causes it. I’m tired.

I’m tired of being patient and putting myself second

second for you

I hate you

I don’t hate you.

I hate the power you seem to have over me

I hate that I can’t hate you.

I feel helpless,

The words echo through my head. They echo through the room.

The room

This room.

I hate this room.

The room you so kindly took the time to build for me.

the room in my head.

once my sanctuary.  now my enemy.

I hate this room.

I’m forced to sit in this damp windowless room.

there is no way out. Not yet anyways.

I have to wait.

wait  And be patient.

wait…

for you.
I would want to live longer...