I am nobody to many but somebody to me,


I look for a greater calm to set me free,

I am everything yet nothing I can be...



I am lost yet found yet lost once again,

I hold in my power, my fears and my pain,

I am cold, warm and passionate and plain!



I am still learning about life though I've lived long enough!

I am hoping, wishing, praying to be stronger, to be tough...

I am petals of flowers and diamonds of rough!



I am here standing though I wish I was away from here,

I miss those who once were so close and near,

I crave a love that was never ever dear!



I am a whole of pieces, a some of no parts!

I am a pauper of aces and a King of hearts!

I am who I am with all the ends and the starts!
I would want to live longer...


I'm losing my faith in humanity.




Everywhere I see there's



way too much vanity.



I show amazing self-restraint.



Do you have a problem?



Go file a complaint.



I've survived Hell.



All around me are



reasons why I should rebel.



Everybody acts like I can't



add up to what you can but



I enjoy being your opposite.



You wish you were someone else



so on my name you spit.



Out long ago of the river of purity.



You need to grow up



and show some maturity.



Your life has to be under construction.



To become a good person



follow the #1 instruction.



It must be too hard for you



because the outcome is horrific.



I gave you that clean slate and



chance to be real.



You still took the easy way



out and insulted.



For the being real issue,



Was I just not specific?



It's not my fault for your pathetic lives.



You want to see the bodies pile up



"emo" after "emo" so



your life has meaning.



What's your childhood trauma?



Did mommy not love you enough?



Did daddy leave?



As you tell me, get over yourself.



You're no exception to

drowning in dark waters,



You're not the someone that never dives.



Look at me and then look



at you in description.



You hate what's in you,



You love what's in me,



You're going to lose your mind

every time you're mad, as my prediction
I would want to live longer...


Black and white and shades of gray,


Things you can and cannot say.

Right and wrong, good and bad,

Can something good make you sad?

Stay and fight, or run away,

No matter what you'll have to pay.

So many choices that you have to make,

Should you be real and honest or fake?

If you're real your conscience is quiet,

But you sleep alone each and every night.

If you're fake you face constant guilt,

But you get to keep the life you've built.

Your heart is filled with uncertainty and doubt,

Always fearing you'll be found out.

Your mind and heart are in constant battle

That makes your stomach churn and your nerves rattle.

Should you stay or should you go?

When you figure it out, please let me know.
I would want to live longer...


With sad thoughts of tomorrow


from past deeds left unchecked

I sit here and ponder

If my life will ever change

With the uncertainty of death

Sneaking in my brain

Tomorrow holds new wonders

But for me its always the same

Some dream about their future

While others dwell in the past

But neither are really different

When the end of time comes at last

So I sit here still thinking

If there's any future for me

I can hear the clock clicking

Counting down on my dreams

But when my time has come

What will I leave behind

Endless dreams of success

The reality of misery
I would want to live longer...


I was a failure and a reject


in the delusion of my mind.

I had a million eyes to give,

but people still were blind.

Things never would have gone so bad

if it hadn't been for you.

You took my normal, happy life

and tore it right in two.

Every day a living hell.

To go on was a curse.

And love and joy and happiness

they only make it worse.

I never saw my life.

I watched it slowly fade away.

But I saw the darkness

as it came in for its stay.

The darkness was you

and the shadow you cast.

Fear filled my soul

now I'll never last.

In the darkness of my mind

hide the secrets of hell.

And every other horrible thing

where only demons dwell.

But I also hide the secret

of all the pain you caused.

I didn't want the world to know

who or what I was.

You can't be saved.

Your destiny's chosen

Your path has been paved.

No potions to save you

nor magical spells.

And I smile, and whisper

I'll see you in hell.
I would want to live longer...


Desperately wanting the nightmare to end.


Unable to heal,

Unable to mend.

Repressed pain of the past,

Comes to haunt me at last.

My sanity sinking,

And I'm tied to the mast.

Never asking for this.

I was given no choice.

Abused and disposed of,

And left with no voice.

Stripped of trust.

Deprived of self worth.

Locked away in my own,

Private hell on earth.

I need to get out.

I have to break free.

But it all seems so hopeless,

Because I can't find the key
I would want to live longer...


Do you know what I think are the silliest mistakes that anyone could ever do?




Hanging on to thin air, trying to grab on to something that can barely hold itself up!

Trying to fix what has been broken...



Fighting for something/someone that is not even yours….

Assuming that if you are good others will return the favor eventually…

Believing empty words and hollow promises…

Opening up to everyone at any time thinking that they would empathize…



Caring too much…

Giving more than you could ever get in return…

Changing who you are for someone…

Escaping the harsh reality…

Living in "your own perfect world" when the world outside is anything but perfect!

Hoping when your hopes are built on nothing solid!



Allowing yourself to need others…

Putting your guard down and trusting completely…

Loving with all your heart while negating your mind…

Hurting others and forgetting that what goes around must for sure come around!

Thinking that people can and will change for you…



I guess all I'm trying to say is what I feel at the moment:

I'm so angry!
I would want to live longer...


My life has been full of imaginative joy and unimaginative sorrow.


My life has been full of unstanderized goals and body consuming laziness.

I tire my soul and mind to successfully put on the mask of artist.

Am I an artist?

No.

I am merely a child chasing a fantasy.

Am I a writer?

Or do i also tire myself to put on the mask of a literary genius?

I'm not sure anymore.



I caress the darkness.

Yet I've always complained about the darkness.

I let myself fall deeper and deeper into the hell they call self pity.

Why is that?

I hate the darkness.

I envy the darkness.

I love the darkness.

It gives me reasons to...

It gives me excuses to...

I hate the darkness.

I live on.

With weary movements and a blank mind.

I'm a mere observer of all that happens.

I've created invisible barriers.

I. myself created loneliness.

I, myself created despair.

I, myself created the only enemy that matters.

I've come to the conclusion that i am undesirable.
I would want to live longer...


Do you?


Do you?

Ever feel so alone?

And helpless?

So lost in this reality?

This is how I feel every hour of every day of my life.

Do you really understand?

How it feels walking among the people who don't care to know of your existence?

To have to lie to your family about who you really are?

To feel like you're living someone else's life, living in a strangers world?

This is how I feel every minute of this life.

Do you know?

What it's like to loose a bond with a very important person?

What it's like living with the feelings of depression?

And not know the reason for it?

And what it's like living in my shoes?

I know that.

Did you know?

Over Thirty Thousand people die a year, just from suicide?

And over Seventy Five Million attempt it?

It's normal to think of suicide?

Most people who die by suicide, are strong. But were just depressed?

Some people who attempt it, end up brain damaged?

The number one cause IS depression, and people just want to escape the pain?

I knew that..

Do you care?

About life or death?

If I give into temptations?

About things that affect others?

Do you?

If everything were to fall apart and shatter into ten million pieces..

Would you?

Will you?

Could you?

Do you...?
I would want to live longer...


Life is crazy,


and totally unpredictable...

It's going to push you over,

kick you while you're down

and hit you when you try to get back up.

Not everything can beat you.

Things are going to change you,

But you get to choose which ones you let change you.

Listen to your heart,

Follow your dreams,

And let no one tell you what you're capable of.

Push the limits,

Bend the rules,

And enjoy every minute of it.

Laugh at everything,

Live for as long as you can.

Love all,

But trust none.

Believe in yourself,

And never lose faith in others

Settle for nothing but only the best,

And give 110% in everything you do.

Take risks,

Live on the edge,

Yet stay safe,

And cherish every moment of it.

Life is a gift,

Appreciate all the rewards,

And jump on every opportunity.

Not everyone's going to love you

But who needs them anyways.

Challenge everything,

And fight for what you believe.

Back down to nothing,

But give in to the little things in life,

After all, that is what makes you.

Forget the unnecessary,

But remember everything,

Bring it with you everywhere you go.

Learn something new,

And appreciate criticism.

Hate nothing,

But dislike what you want.

Never forget where you came from,

And always remember where you are going.

Live Life to its fullest,

And have a reason for everything,

Even if it's totally insane.

Find Your purpose in life,

and Live it!
I would want to live longer...