still remember the day when we cut the chain...


still remember the words that started the pain..

oh damn is it easy to be or to see...

a hundred million feelings just jumped into my brain

something that i can not explain crying in the rain

exploring death by it's all means

i can feel my blood running in my veins

is it just that simple to say goodbye & fly

we went through hell together

you were my legs when I needed you to stand

and you were the air to my lungs

would u leave me out there to dry up & die!!!!!



mercy is a gift placed in that muscle on the left

seconds killed minutes minutes slayed hours

days have passed away sucking out all of my powers

years climbing on the throne of happiness & exhilaration

bringing down my joy welcoming me to misery nation

it's like am drowning in the quick sand of time..



guilty as charged judge replied to my crime

is it the day when we wake up n scream

and this whole thing would be just a bad dream

in the stories that have read each of them had a happy end

but this is a novel with no author so hard to pretend

pretend to be awake when am just Unconscious

will i be able to kill the Illusions

i'm captured within the walls of fear

deaf n blind as if they're nothing here..



A dark room covered me with its hands cold yet

my soul is burning windows of my vision has now turned red

Lonely - I’m alone here suffocating there is nothing left in this world to company me

to feel my touch as if I could touch and feel

All colors have turned black

a broken film of my brain that never stops never rest and never remember



i've been alive for the past 22 years on earth

been thinking of this since the day of my birth

i breath in thoughts exhale a question mark

Just like reading a good book yet in the dark

trying to understand what before knowing why

till the day comes by when u just have to die

is it time to say life goodbye?



& in between nature's arms u lie down & die

is time to stand up shout out & be understood?

is it turning from being bad to living good?

i feel like a gun with one bullet inside

if not needed in there it stays & hide

because once it's out it's never back in there

a body will drop and some smoke in the air

who said that life is fair

it's just like playing truth or dare

the bottle of life spining somewhere

there are happiness & sadness which we should share..

one day we'll all be seating on a chair

wearing glasses hard to more with Grey hair

don't blame life that u couldn't get what u wanted

it's just that u didn't fight back thats why you got hunted

i will stop asking self why

i will never drop down & die

nor be too sad and cry

everything happens for a goal

i won't let life make me fall

is that what life is about? Being full of hate? Not at all

As a person i ask you all

are we strong? or are we human beings full of lies

from this day we shall change & grow up

and if life brings us down let's ask it to shut up

stand up and fight back

no one is suffering power lack

no one is perfect that is true..

but standing together that will do...

let's make up for all our previous mistakes n start

being all together and never fall apart...

it's never too late to have some faith

in friendship in brothership in relationships as a whole

let's all be One..
I would want to live longer...


They say life is the real school


Going through ups and downs

Learning from your mistakes...

Tears drawing the path of tomorrow

Creating laughs by drinking up sorrow

Happiness & Sadness are just states of mind so as love

That was created for us from god above

Sometimes you hate something...hate it really bad...and it ends up being the best thing in life

Sometimes you love something....yet...turn out to be the worst chapter of your life

Pages as they're turned....memories as they're being burned....stories as they're being told.... Grudges as they're being hold...friendships when they're sold...a time line as its fold...Silence....when it seems to be out of gold

A story written describing a timeline...that someone has been through...

Every scene was taken by pros

What is expected...?

When life is the director producer & author...

While we're just actors...

Do as told...never go spontaneously...

When your closest thing becomes the furthest

When your own is not anymore the dearest......

Watching it...learn from it...rise from the ashes....

Be a new version of your own...

To your life...your mistakes are just the dawn
I would want to live longer...


Failing miserably, falling slowly down,
My face can wear nothing but a pathetic frown.
Where have I gone to?
This isn’t the boy I knew.
Sitting around aimlessly, watching the ground,
It seems my mind is lost, nowhere to be found.
Anxiety comes in, try to find a reason,
To my displeasure, the awful feelings deepen.
I feel like my life is over,
Ponder over thoughts that hover.
Thoughts that invade my mind and won’t go away,
They’re infectious and consuming; I know they’re not okay.
Encouraging words spew from them,
I push them out quickly, with a little hesitation.
I feel the darkness take control,
Devouring the only part of me left, my soul.
The boy I was would never surrender,
Or give himself to the ghastly figure.
With the boy, I will never abide,
I’d much rather commit suicide.
I clench my teeth to bare the feeling,
Restless nights spent tossing and turning.
Laughing and crying when it’s one of those nights,
I feel too insane to put up a fight.
Drowning in fear, in my own sorrow,
Hoping to dear God, things will be different tomorrow.
Take a long stroll down my neighborhood,
No one to express myself to, I feel misunderstood.
Record all I go through and save it for another day,
Maybe I could begin to fathom, why I feel this way.
Go to class looking a complete mess,
People stare, sensing my distress.
I ignore all the glares,
Keep thinking ‘Who cares?’
My friends talk a lot and encourage me to do the same,
Though they’re there, I feel like I’m playing a lonely game.
I’m not in the mood to socialize,
What difference do I make in all of their lives?
Day after day, they become less persistent,
They said I’m being moody, and far too distant.
I guess what that means is, our friendship is done,
That only made me realize we never really had fun.
My teacher complained to my parents, how helpful…
But she left out the fact when she’d ­labeled me “Mental”
She swears I was talking to my paper,
I don’t know when that happened, I can’t remember.
Another teacher suggested counseling for me,
Though I didn’t want to go, Mom said it’s best for the family.
I didn’t open up to my therapist,
Like I’d really confess to a man I didn’t trust.
I skipped our next session,
Along with school, and earned detention.
I told myself to never skip again,
Even though school can be a pain.
High As were replaced with Cs,
Cs became Fs and my family weren’t pleased.
Long lectures followed very soon after,
The yelling and insomnia only caused more pressure.
I know exactly what they really expect,
But they should consider listening to my cries with respect.
What happened to who I was before?
I don’t like being this boy anymore.
I could only feel completely helpless,
There was no one I felt could cure this sickness.
I watched hopelessly as my body continued failing,
The alien boy can’t hear the old me calling.
The last thing I could do was scream and yell,
I knew all my defenses had crumbled and fell.
All control over my emotions, was overrun,
How would my family feel, losing their first adopted son?
Did they truly ever care about me?
Now that I’m breaking, I’m part of the family?
If I put a gun to my head, would they finally see?
I could end it right now, it’d be easy.
If I pull the trigger, would they start to care?
The cost is my life, would that be fair?
I decided I’d be better off if I pulled it,
And submissively die before reality hit.
By then I’d be lying still in my casket bed,
I’d rather not be alive, but dead instead.
I don’t want to sit around and watch my dreams fall apart,
Knowing I’m unable to help would only kill my heart.
Big ideas don’t matter anymore,
Now I wonder what I’ve waited for.
I lost the war against this boy,
My life was played with, just like a toy.
Here’s my evidence, I wrote it down for you,
You’re not the only one, I miss the old me too.
I got a crown, a halo over my head,
It obviously means, I’m finally dead.
That is suicide’s only incentive,
A ring of light, your body and spirit departed.
My slow, sad process of deterioration,
My life is no longer in my possession.
A confession to depression,
And of course to this new unloved person.
After so long of living in struggle and strife,
You finally succeeded in ruining my life.
I would want to live longer...


My life in flames, It's all to late


I sleep on thorns but cannot feel the pain


Everything I do or say

Whispers myself away

Fade from this world

I turn my face

And hope to burn

From this world



All the beauty I feel

I know it's not real

All the beauty I see

Will never belong to me



I tried to hide

But I fell apart

Why do I try

To desolate my heart

Our relation  creation of dark passion

I am forever subdued and tranquilized



Your desertion converting from my eyes

My feelings caught in your jar like fireflies

Your eyes they lie as we cry to the tired sky



My life in flames, It's all to late

I sleep on thorns but cannot feel the pain
I would want to live longer...


It is cold today


Indeed the rain is falling and I am alone.

Thoughts of life and love,

meaningless to anyone but myself.

I am alone.

They watch me, their eyes not knowing,

knowing nothing of what they see.

I am but another creature, alone.

They scurry on the surface, unaware,

unaware of the life below

when you are alone.



Loneliness, not a burden nor a sorrow,

but a time of solace, of deepness

never to be shared, never to be understood.

They can never reach the place where I am

And I know I will never reach the place where they are.

I know I don't want to reach that place.

True happiness is here, unmisted.

Unmisted by smiles or laughter,

unmisted by the joys of company.



To find true happiness,

to know if one is truly happy,

he must be happy alone.
I would want to live longer...


Look into these eye, what do you see?


Shattered soul, broken imagery

Deceive Me

Allow the lies to roll of your tongue.

(I will believe you, I need you)

EMBRACE ME.

Understand who I am, first hand.

Do you feel it?

Im ice cold

Im lifeless

Im numb

Look into my heart, what do you see?

Black and bare, not a single beat...the world is dead to me

Hurt Me.

Im your rag-doll, toss me around.

(Im yours, use me, abuse me, hate me)

UNDERSTAND ME.

Feel who I am, touch my pain.

Does it hurt?

Its fucking killing me.

My body is dead, my heart is cold.

With my last ounce of strength, I whisper....

I’ve become apathetic to life but most importantly you.

Before I kill myself im going to kill you too.

You made me bleed, you made me cry.

I never had the strength to say goodbye.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME.

YOU ARE THE EQUIVALENCE OF MY VIEW ON LIFE.

I hope you feel my pain, now that you know what I feel like from inside.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE OF YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT ME HAS DIED.

Its time for you to go

I can't look at you anymore

I think you understand how I feel now...

Don’t be afraid to die, ill show you how.
I would want to live longer...


Once upon a time, there was this foolish traveller, who'd gone on a journey, why was he foolish, well because he was fooled by everyone he met. “Please some money for medicine” said an old lady, and he gave money to her. Everywhere he went people made up all kinds of sad stories to tell him, and the traveller fell for every one of them, “I have a sick younger sister” a little girl said to him, “I don’t have money to buy seeds to plant in my fields” a man said to him, and he gave to them each something of his. Pretty soon his money, his clothes, even his shoes had been cheated away from him, but the foolish traveller was always glad to help, and he always told people the same thing, he said, “I wish you happiness”. But by this point though, the traveller was completely naked, and with nothing left to cover himself, he decided to leave the main road and travel through the dense forest, where no one could see him. But soon he was discovered by the goblins that lived in the woods. The goblins wanted to eat the traveller’s body, so they begged, and they pleaded, and they used kind words to try and trick him, of course, the traveller was fooled, first he let the goblins eat one of his legs, then an arm, then more and more, before it was over, all the traveller had left was his head. He’d even given his eyes away to the last of the goblins, and as that last goblin was eating the traveller’s eyes, he turned and said “Thank you traveller, in return I leave you this present”, what the goblin left was a slip of paper with the word "fool" written on it. The traveller couldn’t see it, he didn’t know what it was, even so, tears began to float of his face. “Thank you” he said, “This is the first present anyone’s ever given me, I’m so happy, I’m so happy thankyou”. Even without his eyes, he cried and he cried great tears of joy. Then the traveller died… the smile is still on his face.


…I feel so sorry for him, see… lost, hardship, things like that, you can’t really focus on them. The traveller didn’t, he never thought about his own troubles at all, I imagine that it probably does sound foolish to some people, but not to me. I don’t think he’s foolish at all, even though other people would probably think he was being tricked, I don’t think he was, I think he did exactly what he wanted to do… I think more than anything he just wanted to make other people happy.
I would want to live longer...


Once there was a man who had an orange shirt.


Once there was a girl who went out dancing in a skirt.

Once there was a park they found they fed the frantic ducks.

Once there was a couple, happy, who couldn't believe their luck.



Once they went out dancing, and a candled dinner date.

Once early in the morning she surrendered to her fate.

Once he said "I love you" and she had to love him too.

Once they had a future, happy when one and one made two.



Now they are both lonely, now they live alone.

Now he has a cold and empty (tidy) hollow home.

Now she has a fountain, tears where once there was a heart.

Now he has decided that they really have to part.



Now that he has nothing, he feels he is complete.

Now that she can't dance again, her heart weighs down her feet.

Now he thinks about her, all the memories locked away.

Now he tries so hard to forget the happy laughing days.



Is she thinking of him still? Does she cry still, now and then?

Is she ever going to win back the man she loves again?

Is he glad it's over? Can he get on with his life?

Is he really so very certain she would have made a useless wife?



Given all the laughter, fun and sunny times they had.

Given all the heartache, lies and times he made her mad.

Given all the tears now, the loneliness and pain.

Given all the risks, would she do it all again?



Can he really say that he won't want her back one day?

Can he really like his life now better in this way?

Can he forget her face, the mess, the giggles and the love?

Can he find someone else to love him more than she could love?



If she really loved him, he said she'd let him go.

If he understood her feelings then he would know that it's not so.

If he were less stubborn, if she could care much less.

If they had never spoken there wouldn't be this sorry mess.



But time has taken prisoners, their lives are now entwined.

But even if they never meet again, the past is not left behind.

But can she start all over? Just forget him and move on?

But even if she can, will he be glad with what he's won?



Is that really what he wants, to never see her smiling face again?

Will it make him happy, will he live on without pain?

Will he be thinking of her, is he too proud to cry?

Will it wrench his heart in two if he sees her kiss another guy?



And can she forgive his faults, and accept him as he is.

She wants to have him back and say there's nothing to forgive.

He's told her that she's crazy, that he may never want her back.

She's told him that she loves him and though its a risk, she'll live with that.



She wants him to live with patience, to give him time to heal.

The past is not yet over and it's left a scar so real.

We don't choose who we can love, and love doesn't really die.

You can find it in your heart again, I love you, so please try.
I would want to live longer...


You forgive me for liking you too much,


And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.



You forgive me for missing you so,

And I'll forgive you for being so cold.



You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,

And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.



You forgive me for playing your games,

And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.



You forgive me for finding you so attractive,

And I'll forgive you for not noticing.



You forgive me for raising you up so high,

And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.



You forgive me for wanting to be with you,

And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.



You forgive me for being so pathetic,

And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.



You forgive me for not being able to let go,

And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.



You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,

And I'll forgive you for crushing them.



Forgiveness brings inner peace.

Do we have a deal?
I would want to live longer...


You would think by now, I would know my way around,


I shouldn't miss you so badly, I should be on familiar ground.

How many more lonely years, must meander by,

until I learn the lesson, it does no good to cry.

What manner of iron will, must some people possess,

to be always looking forward, to never accept regress.

Perhaps if I was willing, to let someone take me by the hand,

they could show me a happy place, in this unfamiliar land.

Perhaps I'm only homesick, for all the joys that once were mine,

I must accept that they and you, belong to another place and time.

But I know that deep within my heart, there's a place where only you reside,

and when the pain of loneliness comes, it knows that is where I hide.

So if sometimes it seems to you, I'm clinging to the past,

it's mostly because I can't yet accept, that our love didn't last.

No matter how hard I try, I've yet to get over you,

for the part of me that's still alive, believes you love me too.

Maybe there will come a day, when that part will finally die,

and feeling strong with a heart reborn, a new love I will finally try.

And what a splendid day that will be, when I awaken to discover,

I'm happily learning a great new land, with a great new friend and lover.
I would want to live longer...