Dear Momma and Papa,


I hope you know I loved you,

I tried to let my light shine through,

But only darkness came,

And it put me to shame.

I can't be your perfect child,

I wasn't tame, I was wild,

And through the years that I spent,

I wish I knew where they went,

From year one to five it was a blur,

But I accepted it, I said,"Sure,"

But year six I began school,

I began to break the rules,

A's meant more to you than my life,

You didn't care about my strife,

Come year seven I had few friends,

None of them lasted to the end,

Hello eight so many fights,

I lost all my childhood rights,

Lies and rumors filled my mind,

And none were too kind,

I found the truth out from you,

I was adopted and unwanted too,

From other people that gave me up.



Welcome nine I see you well,

But far too much for me to tell,

Quiet and quiet was I,

It was hard to say good-bye,

Laughter ringing in the air,

Not that anyone gave a care,

Ten was better I guess you could say,

I was used to the pain of day,

No friend to talk and laugh about,

Only cries, yells, and shouts,

Eleven wasn't that much better,

Except I learned of a new letter,

H is for hate I soon found out,

One no one noticed or cared about,

Twelve came and went real slow,

More lies and rumors for my friends to know,

Hello loneliness welcome back,

Here's my heart cold and black.



Thirteen was better I choose to say,

I laughed more everyday,

To cover my screams deep inside,

I wished I would just off and die,

That year I hated my life,

So I began to befriend the knife,

And blood began to run all round,

Not a cry was heard, Not a drop was found,

And that year I knew it true,

I wasn't good enough to belong to you,

I hated myself for all I did,

I had hated myself since I was a kid,

You dismissed those feelings left unsaid,

Saying,"Not true, go to bed,"

I shut my door and cried my eyes,

And wished that I had never heard the lies,

Maybe the world would be happier yet,

If it was me they never met,

So I didn't talk, I didn't tell,

And come fourteen I'd be in hell.



Good day fourteen,

Now be a good boy and let's be seen,

The boy who messed up so much,

The boy who was cold to the touch,

The boy who cried alone at night,

The boy who couldn't see the light,

The boy who was the parents mistake,

The boy who chose to fake,

The boy who hid his inner cries,

The boy that tonight dies,

The boy that at fourteen died,

The boy that committed suicide,

The boy that won't be missed,

The boy that no girl wanted to kiss,

The boy that never made it a day,

Passed fourteen now the boy is in his 20's all he wanted to say.



Good-bye my family, my home, and my friends,

I guess for me this is the end,

But not too late I asure you tonight,

Tonight I will see the light,

I won't be in pain any longer I hope,

I had to die so please just cope,

I doubt you'll cry but if you do,

Please don't cry I loved you,

I never hated you I want you to know,

I hated myself so please just go,

Be happy and live and laugh and be,

And I'll be happy I'm finally free,

Momma and Papa I love you too,

I wanted to thank especially you,

For the house over my ungrateful head,

For food, family, and a warm safe bed,

Thank you for all you love,

You guys were sent from above,

Sorry I couldn't be what you wished for,

I wish I could have given more,

I shall make just one last word,

I wish to be heard,

I never wanted to hurt anybody.



Love,

Your Angel
I would want to live longer...