No one has ever held my hand as they've taken me hostage


Nor have I ever been locked up for the night in the jail cell

So who could ever imagine that this perfect little me you see

Was cascaded in waves of an insufferable hell

No loved one who cared was there to see what was going on

Everyone bought the happiness and perfection they saw

While my ability to love and my will to live was gone



It's amazing ain't it, how I can live based on my nightmares

But when I really have the chance to choose I never take a dare



I'm not lying when I tell you I'm fucking happy now

I left behind all that burning pointless pain

You aren't dignified enough so don't bother asking how

Answering your question while I live through it twice?

But you can take this fake smile and shove it

Because after all of the "Come on, you know you love it"

I'm so fucking far from nice



You can't possibly understand your freedom

Unless someone else has made an important personal choice

You cannot value your ability to speak out loud

Until someone who doesn't love you has silenced a beautiful voice



I was dying with my secrets and they grew as a life of their own

In my soul remains my demons and they'll never leave their home



I'm not lying when I tell you I'm fucking happy now

I left behind all that burning pointless pain

You aren't dignified enough so don't bother asking how

Answering your question while I live through it twice?

But you can take this fake smile and shove it

Because after all of the "Come on, you know you love it"

I'm so fucking far from nice



I'll never forgive and I will never forget

But I'm young enough to live my life and I'd rather live without regrets

I know she doesn't regret what she did to me

So I can't be the person I was back then

Too terrified to cry out

To hurt to let anyone else in



I'm not lying when I tell you I'm fucking happy now

I left behind all that burning pointless pain

You aren't dignified enough so don't bother asking how

Answering your question while I live through it twice?

But you can take this fake smile and shove it

Because after all of the "Come on, you know you love it"

I'm so fucking far from nice



You think my journey has been easy?

You think time and distance will suffice?

Time can never erase these betrayals

Time will never make me nice



I'm so fucking far from nice.
I would want to live longer...