So tell me it’ll be alright.
Tell me I’ll make it through the night.
Tell me I can live my life.
Without any pain or any strife.
Tell me things can only get better from here.
Tell me I’ll never have to shed another tear.
Your words are empty as they fall on my ear.
But your empty words are all I want to hear.
At the end of the day.
When nothing has gone my way.
When I try to be strong.
While everything is wrong.
When I sit and cry.
Just tell me a little white lie.
Tell me everything will be fine.
Tell me it’ll all be okay.
As my nerves begin to fray.
When I feel all alone.
And I’m trapped in this cone.
This cone of self-hatred and self-harm.
Try to sway me with your charm.
Your words might be empty, but they are what I want to hear.
I need someone behind me who will give me a little cheer.
Just whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
Because your empty words are all I want to hear
I would want to live longer...


You sit in your pitch dark room

With tears streaking down your face
You want to end your life
And wipe out all the disgrace
But I don’t let you do that
And you flare up at me
Telling me I don’t understand
Telling me that I don’t see
I urge you to speak about it
But you tell me hard to think
Whether I’d really like to know
How it feels to be on the brink?

YOU:

"Do you really aspire to feel
The agony that rips my insides?
Do you really want to sit and count
All the silent tears I’ve cried?
You just cannot imagine how it feels
To lose your friends every singe day
Its unbearable and excruciating
And it doesn’t let you run away
I’ve seen drugs, I’ve seen bloodshed
And you tell me to retain my faith
You sit there oblivious to the pain I feel
Or the nightmares that haunt like a wraith
You won’t be able to bear
You won’t be able to stand
All the grief that plagues my heart
All the cuts that lace my hand…."

ME:

"Yes…I won’t be able to see
I won’t be able to realize
That you have hurt so much that
Death would be your greatest prize
But it doesn’t mean that I am free
It doesn’t mean that I don’t care
Everyone has their own problems
And even I have got my share
Yes, I can’t see things your way
Or even feel the way you do
But at the same time, dear Tinkerbell
Even you can’t step in my shoe
You see, you’re hurting a lot
And you feel your pain is unknown
It’s true, I won’t deny it
But at least you’re not alone!
And please remember that when you suffer
And when your life seems no less than a curse
Things are already very bad enough
They can’t possibly ever get worse…
So, please don’t think of giving up
You have to try, you have to strive
For your friends, for your family and for me



YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON WITH LIFE…"
I would want to live longer...


Telling you all these things I know I feel.
But I can't bring out the emotion to make it real.
Can bearly cry, all I can do is smile.
I've been so lost for quite a while.
I find it all funny, but It really hurts to laugh.
Where's my broken other half?
I miss her, she gave me a reason to cry.
She gave me the emotion to show I wanted to die.
Now it's just there, but none of is seems true.
Yet, I'm still reaching out and screaming to you.
I've been seeing myself when I look in the mirror.
But I miss the broken girl, I miss her.
She never left, but her emotion went away.
She's trying to break free in every word I say.
Can you help bring her back, so I can fight?
She gives me a reason to believe it will be alright.
When I'm in her shoes, I see things dark.
But something happens that leaves its mark.
I learn from her, she teaches me how to survive.
The broken part of me is the reason I'm alive.
Does this make sense to anybody but me?
I'm looking around, but I don't see.
It's like my mind's been shut down, and I'm a robot.
Like common sense is something I forgot.
People love this, I'm cracking joke after joke.
Do people not see that a part of me broke?
I don't want them to worry, they do that enough.
But going through this alone is kind of rough.
I broke down to a really good friend 24 hours ago.
So far, she's the only one that knows.
She knows I wandered off this path, not wanting to be found.
She knows I'm crying out, but can't make a sound.
She knows I'm afraid, but only I can help myself.
Still, I'm tempted to go back to her for help.
But there's nothing to feel this way about.
I'd love to just stand on a rooftop and shout.
But what would I scream for if everything's fine?
I'm reading this hurt in disbelief that it's mine.
I think I should end this and just let it end.
I'm trying to find you, my broken heart.
I'll be there soon, just need to get over all of this.
Tinkerbell, why is it you I miss?
I would want to live longer...


Life is a monster, created to kill.
It swallows my happiness until its had its fill.
It leaves me a shell of dark and despair.
Love could save me, but it seems to be nowhere.
Always running with nowhere to hide.
Am I the only one who's breaking inside?
I just want someone to take my hand,
Kiss my lips and truly understand.
I can't listen to songs about happiness and love,
Storybook endings and help from above.
None of that stuff ever happens to me.
I just sit and cry silently, not letting them see.
Just knock donw my barriers and take me in your arms.
Protect me from the world and the knife that harms.
All I want is someone who will grab my wrist,
Tear the razor from my hands and caress my fists.
Not lock me up or pretend to understand.
Is it too much to ask?! I just need a hand!
Tie me to this earth and never let me leave.
Save my soul and make me believe.
Too late, I'm done, I'm saying goodbye.
Well, you can't say that I didn't try...
I would want to live longer...


It stalks the night


It stalks the day

It seeks out life

And whisks it away

It's known as death

And other things too

But it's all the same

What matters is you.

How do you see it?

What does it mean?

It's best if you know

For death is unseen.

It can take you at day

It can take you at night

Knowing death well

Can lend you some light

The passage to death

Is always unclear

And it's best to know

That you're very near.

For death is at hand

It is for us all

Know it's face well

So you don't stumble and fall

Now think hard on death

And know that it's near

And the meaning of life

Will be all to clear

And that is to live

For your hearts desire

Not to stumble or fall

But to burn with a fire.

A fire for life

To live for each day

To reach for your dreams

No matter what people say

Life is a question

And death holds a clue

Reach not for the answer

For your life's not due

Live for the moment

And die for it too

For it's the moment that counts

It, and you

Now I'm all done

I've said what I'll say

Just remember one thing

Live for the day!
I would want to live longer...


after so long i'm blogging.... sorry for the hitus..... it's has been a rough patch for me and raya didn't went well for me sighss.. well hopefully it will be better than yesterday.. hopefully will be fine tomorrow....
I would want to live longer...


Someday, my memories of her will fade. Her voice, her actions  I might forget them as well. But even then, I will always remember that I loved her.

It feels so close to me, yet I can't reach it even if I hold out my hands. But even if I can't reach it, there are things that will stay in my heart. Being in the same time and looking at the same sky  if I can remember that, then even if we are far apart, I believe we can still be together.......
I would want to live longer...


Happy encounters and bittersweet memories, if there is nothing meaningful in the meeting itself and it's all about having met you, then what would be the true meaning of actually meeting you and the significance of wanting to meet you again?
I would want to live longer...


If things were to change, do you think you could ever fall in love with me? Or fulfill a dream for which I long? The world is about to change. That's why I'm here now. I've come and this will mean a new beginning for my life.... I knew I didn't carry enough faith in myself. I am to blame. I was afraid that even if there had been no Love, we would someday go our separate ways, but I have to put that behind me now and live in the present believing in the future.
I would want to live longer...


Its been a year since i last touched my small blade, but once again my hands itch to hold it, my skin yearns to feel it, & my blood wishes to be set free...
I would want to live longer...


Tear me down, kick me around, watch me bleed all over the pretty white floor. But just remember you can never break whats not yours Tinkerbell...
I would want to live longer...


Your hurting me with your eyes...
Blinding me with your lies...
Without you here I feel pain...
But with you near I'm insane...
So it is written. So it shall come to pass....
I would want to live longer...


I've learned
that just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.
I would want to live longer...


It's me. it's me. it's the same old brand new me... Mohd Mikaa'eel aka Neroangelo, why am i writing this shit is way beyond me... perhaps to let off some steam.. for those who have eyes to see and ears to listen.. Tinkerbell remember what you had to said to me... well i have 6 words for you.... what about me? what about Mika? you ran your mouth about all the things we did and blah blah blah.... well Tinkerbell all i got to say to that is Noone gonna mold me, hell Noone gonna break me.. i will even go as far as to say you did... but that was than this is now.... Monday eh? 1 more day to go.... 10 months you gone away for good now your are back?? As much as i hate you, i can't stop Loving you.. So it is written. So it shall come to pass.
I would want to live longer...